Christmas

Cinnamon rolls again, and coffee on the doorstep. Finally, a peaceful, sunny day. I'm relieved that his plane will take off in calm weather. It leaves at 3pm. The hours keep advancing on the clock. We go for a little walk to look at the view.


We realized that we have enough time to go to the beach again. This will go down as the saddest beach trip in history.
At home, Bryce finishes up his packing. I have him help me shake out a big rug that I can't shake alone. I ask him to get a vase down from a high shelf for me. I remind him of our skype date tomorrow. We have leftovers. I thought I would drive him to the airport but I am crying too hard. He leaves the house for the last time and I see that he doesn't really miss it. He will miss me but he's happy to be going. This whole trip has been much harder for him than for me, especially the four months where I had a job and he stayed at home. I'm glad I'm not leaving now, but I'm still struggling with my decision to choose a summer NZ for a little while over my husband. We know that it won't happen again.

I wait with him in line at the airport, for an hour. There's problem with their software and even the plane is delayed. The saddness stops with the boredom of waiting in line. We rush together to security, and we realize that's it. A quick kiss and I race to my car so I can watch his plane leave. Stupidest idea ever. His plane disappears into a tiny speck.

Luckily I had plans to be at a friend's house for the day; we have a great time and by the end of the night I feel almost normal again. The last week of dreading has not been fun. Now it's time to see how I do.