blunt?

I have never thought of myself as blunt. In fact, I dislike blunt people, and I strongly dislike people who brag about how they are blunt. You know those type of people, who bitchily say, "I tell it like it is."
That said, here, in NZ,

I am the blunt one.

Apparently. I am learning how to soften my language, especially in my e-mails. I sit for way too long at my computer, trying to figure out a nice way to say something potentially upsetting, when my coworkers and managers can compose a better, almost musically soft and sweet, message-- in seconds. While I'm trying to work on this aspect of my communication, there's a flip side that is really excruciating:

People just won't directly tell me what they mean.

You can't imagine how frustrating it is, to have to guess what someone's circumlocutions really mean. Even more frustrating than figuring out the point-- is figuring out how to respond. Do I directly address what they are indirectly communicating? Is this an appropriate time to express frustration/set up boundaries about the indirect communication? Are they being passive/ aggressive? Are they trying to say something that they feel is awkward or is making them nervous? If they are hiding rudeness, how do I stand up for myself? Should I address their mode of communication, or do I address what I think they're trying to communicate? What the hell do I say??

I have so many examples of this, but really shouldn't post them online.


And the thought occurs to me-- are people going as nuts with how directly I talk about things?

naaa